


so, a pumpkin walked into a bar

by TheOriginalCowboyCat



Series: elliott witt did what to a pumpkin? [1]
Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: But I swear I had no intention of writing this, Canon Non-Binary Character, Crushes, Elliott Witt is a Certified Dumbass, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, I know I said I wouldn't write shit like this anymore, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, It just kinda happened, Love Confessions, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mirage | Elliott Witt Has Sex with a Pumpkin, Morning After, Other, Pancakes, Pumpkins, Sleeping Together, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-01-03 11:35:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21178754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOriginalCowboyCat/pseuds/TheOriginalCowboyCat
Summary: “As much as I love where this is going,” Elliott finally muttered, his lips soon connecting with the stranger’s as they both got a little daring with their touches, “But I’m going to go ahead and kill the mood by asking if you want something to eat. Last night’s adventure kinda worked up my appetite, if ya know what I’m saying,”.The trickster hoped that getting some food and coffee into his system might help jog his memory about what exactly went down the night before… and who exactly was in his bed. He definitely felt a little more than guilty for not knowing the stranger’s name, but as foggy as his memory was at the moment, he wasn’t sure they’d even told him as much.or; the morning after Elliott Witt fucked a Pumpkin





	1. Pumpkins & Pancakes

Elliott blinked a few times, slowly coming out of his self imposed, alcohol and drug-induced haze. His head was throbbing with a hangover, the harsh morning light that filtered through the windows of his apartment not helping in the slightest. He had the vaguest idea of what happened last night, he remembered going out to the bar with the others for a Halloween party, getting drunk and whatnot, flirting with various patrons and Legends… then Octavio brought out some odd mushrooms he bought online, and after that… everything was all a blur.

The man groaned slightly and shifted around under the sheets, immediately feeling the familiar sensation of another body lying beside him. Normally, Elliott would have been a little more than alarmed to find a stranger in his bed, but after the night he had, (or… the night he  _ suspected  _ he had) hooking up with some random at the bar was, unfortunately, a common occurrence.

But… he found it unusual that, whoever was asleep beside him, was still there. Usually, whichever poor soul that decided to sleep with him would be long gone by this hour, becoming just another name to the ever-growing list of one night stands. It was a nice change, however, and Elliott  _ definitely  _ wasn’t complaining, at least now he’d have an excuse to make an extra-large batch of pancakes for breakfast.

With a small yawn, the mysterious person began to stir, drawing the man out of his thoughts as he felt their hand gently begin absently tracing circles on his chest, their warm breath tickling his neck as they nuzzled themselves closer to him.

“Well, good morning to you too,” Elliott chuckled as he wrapped his arms around their slender, yet surprisingly built frame. _ That would explain why I’m so sore, _ he thought with an amused grin, grunting softly as they began peppering him with gentle, delicate kisses. It wasn’t often he stumbled upon someone as affectionate as this, most of his late-night partners being the more “fuck and go” types, so this was more than a welcomed change. 

Maybe… if he was lucky, things would start looking up for Elliott Witt.

“As much as I love where this is going,” he finally muttered, his lips soon connecting with the stranger’s as they both got a little daring with their touches, “But I’m going to go ahead and kill the mood by asking if you want something to eat. Last night’s adventure kinda worked up my appetite, if ya know what I’m saying,”.

The trickster hoped that getting some food and coffee into his system might help jog his memory about what exactly went down the night before… and who exactly was in his bed. He definitely felt a little more than guilty for not knowing the stranger’s name, but as foggy as his memory was at the moment, he wasn’t sure they’d even told him as much.

“Ah, food would be nice,” the stranger finally whispered, a hint of a foreign accent coating their words as they continued to shower him with kisses, “but perhaps… in a moment,”.

“You sure?” Elliott muttered between breaths, “It’s my mom’s super-secret pancake recipe, only a handful of people have ever had the pleasure of trying it”. 

That caused them to pause and chuckle.

“Do you always pamper your...  _ guests  _ like this?” they asked in an alluring, husky tone, hands trailing down his chest and stomach as they moved to straddle his hips, “Or am I an exception?”. 

There was a soft growl laced in between their words, sending a more than pleasing shiver throughout Elliott’s whole body…

_Welp,_ _so much for killing the mood. _

“Well,” the trickster murmured playfully, gently placing his hand behind the stranger’s neck, pulling them in with a firm kiss on the lips, “Why don’t you stay and find out for yourself?”

They chuckled again, milky green eyes finally meeting his own as they continued to press their lips against his, “I look forward to what you have in store for me…”.

Food could wait, Elliott decided.

* * *

Being the gentleman he was, Elliott happily let the stranger shower first, opting to just throw on some clothes and tidy around his apartment a bit while they cleaned themselves up before breakfast. His place was always a mess, but perhaps it was a bit messier after the night he had, both his and the stranger’s costumes were thrown haphazardly around the room, a few various items scattered across the floor, even a lamp and a picture frame had fallen off the coffee table beside the couch.

“Oh, we  _ definitely _ had fun,” he mused for a second, rolling his eyes at the sorry excuse he called a costume. Why did he think a  _ cowboy,  _ of all things, would be scary? All the other Legends looked terrifying in their costumes… hell, he nearly pissed himself when he saw Caustic’s costume. Even  _ Bloodhound _ joined in the fun… who’d have thought they could make a pumpkin look so fucking scary… and hot at the same time.

Elliott blinked and shook his head at that thought, trying his best to focus on gathering up the stranger’s clothes, folding them and setting them aside nicely for whenever they decided to leave. He’d already set aside some of his own clothes for them after they were done showering, unsure if they’d want to slip back into their…. _ scarecrow costume _ ?

The trickster had no clue what they were supposed to be, nor could he remember, but the stranger’s costume was unlike anything he’d ever seen. It was intricately detailed and obviously hand made, the carefully embroidered stitching told him that much, but there seemed to be a piece missing… something that connected to the collar of the coat. 

Elliott looked around the apartment for a moment, finally spotting a bright orange pumpkin wearing a funny-looking hat sitting on the counter. It looked... _ familiar  _ for some reason, kinda like what Bloodhound was wearing last night but… different… maybe. Things were still quite blurry but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d seen this costume before.

“Hmm, interesting,” Elliott said, grabbing the pumpkin with and continuing to stare at it in awe and curiosity. It was hollowed out with a few gizmos inside to keep it all together, making it a helmet of sorts, he’d definitely have to ask the stranger what they were supposed to be.

_ And maybe ask how on earth his cowboy costume was enough to get him laid. _

A sudden pang of guilt struck him as he looked down at the pumpkin mask in his hands, finding himself wondering what the hunter must think of him sleeping with random strangers from bars instead of…. Elliott shook his head, again trying to force the thoughts of Bloodhound out of his head.

It wasn’t like they’d notice him, they had enough self-respect not to be caught with the likes of him, the hunter deserved someone far better than his sorry ass. 

But still… a trickster could dream.

With a broken sigh, he set the pumpkin back down and moved himself to the kitchen to begin making breakfast, unable to shake the odd sense of…  _ regret  _ from the pit of his stomach, it was a feeling he had grown accustomed to after bringing someone home for the night. One would assume getting laid every few weeks would make a man feel like he was on top of the world but… Elliott didn’t want to spend the rest of his life sleeping around with people who didn’t matter to him.

He just wanted someone to stay…

“Just… focus on breakfast for now, Elliott,” he muttered to himself again, “You can feel sorry about your sad, miserable little life is another day,”. It wasn’t like he didn’t already spend the majority of his time feeling bad about his poor life choices… but living with regret was something he seemed to be good at, perhaps a little too good at times.

Making food almost always made him feel better, but at that moment all he wanted to do was forget, drown his thoughts in the small minuscule tasks of making breakfast.

Perhaps that’s why he hardly noticed the stranger reemerge from his bedroom until they were right behind him, their gentle, yet calloused hands wrapping around his waist as they rested their chin on his shoulder. 

Needless to say, Elliott jumped in surprise which caused them to giggle warmly. 

“Sorry, I did not mean to startle you,” they said, nuzzling slightly against his cheek.

“Shit… I didn’t even hear you!” he replied with a shaky laugh as he wiggled himself around to face them, a large almost forced smile covering his face. The clothes he’d given them were a bit big, the shirt draping off their shoulders ever so slightly, “Everything fit alright?”.

They hummed and nodded, smiling as he brushed away some of the wiry red hair from their eyes, “We seem to be nearly the same size,”.

He smiled back, “Lucky you,”.

“Lucky me,” the stranger repeated with another chuckle, peeking behind him at the half made pancake batter resting on the counter, “Is there anything I can help with? It would be the least I could do”.

_ Trust me, babe, you’ve done wonders for me already, _ Elliott though with a cocky grin, leaning down and pressing his forehead against theirs, “You can keep standing there looking hot as fuck,”.

He could almost hear them roll their eyes.

“You truly are something else,” they said, planting a gentle kiss on his lips before moving to an obviously empty seat at the breakfast counter across from him, “I’ve never met anyone quite like you”.

“Huh, good,” he chuckled, finally pouring some pancake batter into a pan, “I don’t think the world could handle two of me,”.

“ _ I can barily handle one _ ,” the stranger muttered, just soft enough that Elliott couldn’t make out what they’d said.

“Anyways, are you like… allergic to anything? Cause I can put like, nuts and berries n’ shit in the batter if you’d like. Or you can just stick with plain ol’ syrup on top”.

“... I don’t want to impose,”.

“You’re not, I’m… actually really enjoying myself. It’s no often I get to cook for someone other than myself,”.

“I honestly did not know you enjoyed cooking so much,”.

“Huh… I don’t talk about cooking much,” he admitted, finding that an odd question, but then again… if this was a fan of his, they were going to try and get every morsel of info they could out of him while they were able, “Aside from the whole…  _ porkchop _ thing, it’s basically become my catchphrase,”.

“I think it’s charming,” the stranger continued, leaning their elbows against the counter as they eyed the rest of the room, gaze landing on a picture hanging on the wall beside them, “Your mother?”.

Elliott nodded, feeling another pang of guilt as he realized he hadn’t spoken to her since moving planets… something he, in truth, wasn’t exactly crazy about.

“She is very beautiful,”.

“Well I had to have gotten my looks from somewhere, didn’t I?” the trickster replied with a dull chuckle, “I sure as hell didn’t get them from my dad,”

“Did you get your ever so delightful personality from him?”.

Elliott could barely hold back a laugh, “Ha! No way… well… maybe? I’m a cocky bastard, sure... but it’s nothing compared to him”.

They fell silent for a moment and nodded, “I take it you didn’t have a pleasant upbringing with him?”.

“I wouldn’t know, bastard left when I was like  _ five,  _ all I have is the stories my mom tells me. Besides… I don’t think anyone has a  _ pleasant upbringing _ . Not to be a downer but… this world is kinda… a shitty place to grow up in,”.

There was another long pause before the stranger sighed and nodded, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to agree with you on that,”.

He gave them a lopsided smile of understanding, flipping some of the freshly cooked pancakes onto a plate for them, dowsing them in a generous amount of butter and syrup before sliding them over to the stranger, “Enough lamenting over the past, tell me what you think of these”.

They gave him their thanks and dipped their head in silent prayer for a moment before digging in, eyes widening with the very first bite.

“Good, huh?”.

They nodded vigorously, taking a few more bites before humming with delight, “These are delicious! I’ve never had anything like this before,”

“Wait… so you’re saying you’ve never had pancakes? Like… not even as a kid?”

The stranger shook their head, a slightly melancholic chuckle passing over their lips, “Alas, no… but it truly is an honor to have your mother’s recipe be the first I try. You must show me how to make this one day,  _ félagi” _ .

If this were a movie, Elliott was pretty sure there’d have been a record scratch. Everything just seemed to freeze for a moment, the trickster finding himself almost frozen as he turned around to face the stranger, pan clattering on the stovetop.

“W- what did you just say?”.

They blinked, “I said, ‘You must show me how to-’”

“No, no… that last thing, the foreign word,”.

“Félagi?”.

He nodded, “Why did you say that… how do you even know that word?”.

The stranger’s (?) expression grew more confused, “It’s Icelantic… I am Icelantic? Elliott, you should know this already…”.

His eyes widened more as he realized just who was sitting in front of him.

“Oh, shit…”.


	2. As Do I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His breath finally caught in his throat, but Elliott still didn’t respond… just stared blankly at their hands, he never noticed how soft they were until now. An awkward energy settled between the two fairly quickly, until the hunter broke the silence once more.
> 
> “Elliott… “ they began, so soft and sweet that the whimper he’d been holding back finally broke through, “are you-”.
> 
> “Y- you’re in my house… you were in my bed… ” the man finally muttered, his tone caught between awestruck and mortified, “I- I slept with you,”.

_ “Elliott… Elliott?! Fyrir helvítis sakir, wake up! This had better not be another one of your pranks… it isn’t funny”. _

Upon hearing the echoey, slightly panicked voice speaking above him, Elliott slowly opened his eyes, wincing a bit as he felt himself getting jostled around, strong familiar hands shaking him awake. It took a moment for his vision to clear, but when it did he was once again met with milky green eyes that were filled with what he could only assume was worry.

_ “Elskan?”. _

He didn’t say anything in return, finding himself, surprisingly, at a loss for words. All the trickster could do was just stare at his…  _ guest _ who was hovering above him with an equally concerned look on their face.

“Are you alright?” they asked again.

Elliott just continued to stare, cheeks flushing slightly as he finally choked out a sentence, watching the utter relief spread across their face when they realized he was awake. “I- I um… yeah, I’m- I’m okay,”.

“You passed out,”.

Their tone was even, yet carried with it a curious undertone.  _ I want to know why you passed out after I told you who I was, _ was basically what they were asking, a question Elliott himself didn’t know the answer too… or he was just too embarrassed to admit it.

“I did,” He responded, trying desperately to mentally prepare himself for the conversation that was bound to happen while at the same time instinctively deflecting his blatant anxiety with humor, “So, I- I uh, I guess you can say that I’ve really fallen for-”.

“Finish that sentence and I will leave you on the ground,” they replied, an uncharacteristic chuckle joining their words as they gently helped him into a sitting position, “You are lucky you did not hit your head,”. 

“Y- yeah, um… thanks for, for uh… helping me out,” Elliott said, finding himself once again mesmerized by their face… his eyes studying every scar and blemish they had to offer, “...Bloodhound”.

“My pleasure..” The hunter said, lips curling up slightly upon hearing their name, “... _ elskan” _ .

Their voice, oh god their voice... even without the modulator it still sent a shiver down his spine. Now that he knew who they were, Elliott decided that he could listen to them talk for hours, even if he didn’t understand a word of their native tongue, he still wanted to… even more now than before. 

A few moments passed before the trickster spoke again, his mind silently reeling at all the new information he was still struggling to process. “How… how long was I out for?” he asked, realizing that the hunter had yet to let go of him, clearly still concerned for his well being.

“Not long, a few moments perhaps,” Bloodhound explained, gaze growing distant for a moment, their grip tightening on his shoulder, “You just… dropped, I barely had time to react,”.

Another beat passed.

Their hands lingered.

Elliott could almost hear his heart pounding in his chest, unsure if they even knew the power they held over him.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he muttered.

The hunter sighed, their expression softening as they looked back at him, a warm smile adorning their lips. “I know… I’m glad you are alright now,”.

“Me too…”.

Both legends stared at each other for a moment longer before Bloodhound spoke again, breaking the unseen tension between them. “When you are ready to stand, let me know. I will help you up,” they said, finally moving their hands away from him.

“Now’s good,” he muttered quickly, grabbing their hand before they moved out of reach, “My uh, my legs are kinda starting to go a bit numb,”.

Bloodhound looked down at their intertwined hands for a moment and nodded, smiling as they pulled the trickster up to his feet with ease, bringing him remarkably close to their face. 

“Anything else?” they murmured softly into his ear.

Oh…

Oh, they definitely knew what they were doing to him.

And they definitely enjoyed the shy, bewildered look only they could get from him.

“I-I’m good,” Elliott choked out, face growing bright red as they stepped forward and lead him over to the couch, “Thanks…”.

The hunter smirked at him with a gentle grin, seeming to know that there was something he was hiding, for once their expression giving away what they were thinking. Elliott was an idiot thinking he could keep anything from them, they read him like an open book _ .  _

“Elliott…” they said, slow and deliberate as they sat across from him.

“...Hound,” he replied, trying to act calm and cool even though he knew anyone with half a brain could see he was freaking out inside

Bloodhound hesitated for a moment, opening their mouth to say something but stopping themselves before any words got out and after a short breath, they continued with their thought. “You are acting  _ odd _ … more so than usual. Hvað er að, what’s wrong?”.

_ Shit shit shit… _

“Wrong? Ha, n- nothing’s wrong, everything’s fine! Yeah, nothing to worry about, you’re old buddy Mirage is a-okay!” He muttered, hoping a laugh would make things better.

It did not.

“Elliott…” they repeated, sternly this time, “Talk to me… something is clearly ailing you and I’d like to know what it is. Perhaps I can help?”.

_ nope, nope nope _

He just chuckled nervously again and shrugged, unable to meet the hunter’s gaze.

They shifted slightly in their seat.

“... Have I overstayed my welcome?”.

A small pang of guilt struck Elliott in the chest as he bit the edge of his lip,  _ great, now you’re making them feel bad, dumbass. _

“I- It’s not that, It’s not anything you did if that’s what you’re worried about,”.

_ I’m the one who got so damn high that I can’t even remember sleeping with the fucking _ ** _ hunter the gods have sent..._ **

“Then what is it, elskan? I- I don’t enjoy seeing those I ... those I  _ care _ about, in pain,”. The hunter reached over to him, gently taking hold of his hands with their own ungloved ones, running their thumb gently over his knuckles. “You can talk to me, you know this… correct?”.

Discomfort grew in his chest, and Elliott struggled to hold down the whimper that threatened to escape his throat, “I- I know, Hound but I-”.

_ I don’t want to lose you, too. _

“Then please… talk to me, hleyptu mér inn,”.

Bloodhound’s grip tightened around his.

“I want to help,…”.

His breath finally caught in his throat, but Elliott still didn’t respond… just stared blankly at their hands,  _ he never noticed how soft they were until now. _ An awkward energy settled between the two fairly quickly, until the hunter broke the silence once more.

“ _ Elliott _ … “ they began, so soft and sweet that the whimper he’d been holding back finally broke through, “are you-”.

“Y- you’re in my house… you were in my bed… ” the man finally muttered, his tone caught between awestruck and mortified, “I- I  _ slept _ with you,”.

Bloodhound just blinked. 

“Yes, that is what happened. You took me home after we left the bar together last night, and we slept together... why are you acting as if- as if...”. Their voice trailed off for a moment, eyes widening slowly as they realized the situation, “... you don’t remember,”.

“N- no shit,” he wheezed, trying not to sound too hysterical “I barely remember  _ drinking _ anything… just eating those damn mushrooms Octavio brought out…”.

“... how many did you have?”.

“I- I… I dont fucking know, clearly enough to make me blackout!”.

They softened their gaze a little, eyes filling with understanding, “Take a deep breath, elskan… that is a normal reaction for people who are not used to the  _ sveppur.  _ I should have warned against taking so much,”.

“T- that’s not why I’m freaking out, Hound! We fucked! Had sex, did the nasty or whatever the fuck you want to call it… and I- I just… I don’t. Ugh, fuck!” Elliott yelped, groaning as he buried his face with his hands, “... fuck!”

Bloodhound stiffened, cautiously moving themselves closer to him. It was clear they hadn’t the slightest clue how to prosses what was going on, but that didn’t stop them from trying to help. “Breathe, elskan,  _ breathe.  _ I’m… I am not upset that you don’t recall our evening together,” they tried to reassure, but he could hear the hurt in their voice, the ever so slight hesitance that was so unnatural for them, “It’s okay, truly”.

No...no, it really wasn’t, and they both knew that. Elliott just wished he could find the words to say it… literally, so he shook his head, hoping they understood.

They both sat there silently, lamenting in the awkward atmosphere he’d created.

_ Look at what you did, dumbass… you hurt the one person you actually give a genuine shit about and possibly ruined the one shot at had at happiness. You always have to go and fuck everything up… don’t ya? _

He sunk his head a little lower, wrapping his arms around his head.

“...fuck”.

The trickster could hear the hunter shift around beside him, a stray hand gently caressing his back. He didn’t say anything else in response, allowing them to provide comfort in their own way, knowing that they weren’t all that big,  _ or familiar  _ with such situations.

“Listen,” Bloodhound began, sighing softly, “I- I am not one to simply let someone take me to their home, and...  _ fornicate _ with them, but... I trust you, Elliott. I feel…  _ safe _ in your presence, enough to allow me to be vulnerable-”. They vaguely gestured to their unmasked face. “And I do not regret my decision to have sex with you, no matter how impulsive it may have been. It was an act of  _ ástríða _ between…  _ us _ .”.

Elliott’s heart rate pick up speed as they spoke.

_ Us... _

“I understand if you do not return my feeling, and if it is alright with you, I would like to remain friends despite what happened. But if we are to continue on as…  _ whatever  _ we were before this night, I must know… do  _ you _ regret it?”.

He blinked, lifting his head up immediately.

“...What?”.

“Do you regret having sex with me… ”.

He blinked again.

Once, twice… three times.

“Why the fuck would I regret it?”.

Now it was Bloodhound’s turn to look confused. “You… you don’t seem to be taking  _ any _ of this very well, so I assumed-”.

“Hound,” Elliott said, placing a hand on their knee, “I don’t regret what happened last night, I just kinda wish I could remember  _ what _ exactly happened, I mean… I know the obvious happened but like… fuck… we… we…,”.

“... Had sex,”.

He nodded again, staring at them for a moment longer before continuing. “Do- do you really think I don’t feel the same way?  _ You _ make  _ me _ feel like I can be vulnerable… I don’t have to act anymore, I don’t have to  _ be _ Mirage, with you I’m just…  **Elliott** . And having sex with you for the first is… it’s something I’d like to remember,”.

Elliott took a breath and continued.

“I like you, Hound… really,  _ really  _ like you. I’ve liked you since the day we met, since you first saved my ass from dying in the ring, I just… I didn’t know  _ how _ to tell you, things like this… whatever we have, they don’t work out for me very often. So maybe I was just saving my own skin by not saying anything… but I’m saying it now. Don’t think for a second that I regret sleeping with you, okay? You- you mean a lot to me, and I’d  _ never _ hurt you like that,  _ ever, _ ”.

Bloodhound remained silent, eyes wide with an emotion he couldn’t quite place. Neither Legend said anything until they chuckled a few stray tears rolling down their scarred cheeks. “The Allfather has truly blessed me to be able to share this life with you, Elliott Witt,” they muttered with a smile, “You are too good to me, I don’t deserve someone as kind as you,”.

“Trust me… you deserve everything. I- I know I’m not much of a catch but... if it’s okay with you, I- I’d like to try and… make something out of this, I- I wanna make you happy, Hound”.

They reached up, placing a hand on his cheek as they leaned in, brushing their lips together in a gentle kiss. “As do I, ástin mín, As do I”.


End file.
